| the age of the animal cracker is here |
[Mar. 16th, 2009|12:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | pocketful of money - jens lekman | ] |
I've fallen into a habit of arbitrarily not going to bed some nights. I shower at 4 a.m. and air dry languidly in front of my window, sifting through the cream of the internet. Then I nap mid-morning and am good to go. This irregular schedule is giving me pretty funky dreams, though. A couple hours ago I got married in a yellow dress, but committed some awful faux pas (not really that surprising) and spent the dream trying to make amends with the wedding party. I looked out of my window and saw a flooded square in what I knew to be Venice, where it was raining and the water churned while the carnival boats spun around (purple and orange alligators and black and white spindly dragons).
Spring break is next week, and I'll be getting my wisdom teeth out on Monday and spending the rest of week behaving much more pathetically than will really be necessary. Since coming back from France I have been so excited about having food available to me all the time, whenever I want it, that a week of being unable to eat solid food will probably do me some good.
Now I have to try to figure out how to access the elusive 'student profile' so I can complete my application for a lit AOC. The paper says it's accessible in the registrar section of ansible. that is totally untrue. |
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| AAAHH |
[Mar. 2nd, 2009|06:14 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | SUFFER WITH ME | ] |
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slit_mouth_woman this is spooking me out INEXCUSABLY.
I have been reading pages and pages of various livejournal users' real-life-ghost-stories and then everything on this page (yes I know it's an ED link but whatever it is not full of awful memes) for about three hours now and holy shit I will never sleep again. I was going to get a shower but I have to wait for the sun to come up because I really don't want to risk looking out of the window or looking in the bathroom mirror with the lights out. I was reading a wiki page about screamers (you remember those chain letters with the picture of the room and all of a sudden there was a horrible rotting face and a shriek? they always get me, augh) but I had to stop because I didn't trust it not to be rigged as a horrible-face-producer itself.
weather.com says the sun will rise at 6.53 a.m. chatter chatter chatter. |
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| maww |
[Jan. 26th, 2009|09:35 pm] |
Neil Gaiman! You are the cutest. Cut that shit out. |
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| what the HELL people |
[Jan. 25th, 2009|07:30 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tiger mountain peasant song - first aid kit | ] |
Want to feel depressed?!
Look at the engagement Facebook photo albums of people you went to middle school with.
+1 if at least 5 of the photos are close up shots of the ring
+1 for every additional photo album of the event
+2 if you move on to the wedding album
triple D: face score if you move on to the album of their baby
New drinking game, folks. Double shot if the person is younger than you are!
As of about 4 a.m., I am pretty at peace with the idea of coming back. Maybe not the actual preparations - I have to pack, figure out if it's worth it to face the terror of the post office to mail packages home, arrange for a cab. I'm not coming back as changed as I hoped I would, although I have perfected the don't-fuck-with-me face, which should prove useful. I still don't know where I'll be living, which is a little bit irksome. But I am not panicking (for the moment), which is so refreshing. It is at that so-late-it's-early point here - actually we passed that a while ago - and I can't summon much more in the way of Deep Thoughts, so I'll leave it at that.
see you Wednesday. |
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| turn of events |
[Jan. 9th, 2009|11:45 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | karma police - radiodread | ] |
Huh.
I should be en route to an exam right now, but "à cause d'un accident grave de voyageur" on the only metro line that serves my part of town, I am not.
Maybe it's a good thing I ended up leaving later than I had originally planned?
What a strange week this is turning out to be.
ETA: http://www.blogencommun.fr/2009-01-suicide-a-buzenval/
I'm still blown over, even though I didn't see the person "fall"...Who was it, maybe? Thank you and keep hoping, everyone...
I was held up at Nation station and according to the info given by the RATP agents, the person died...Alas!
oh, Paris, you're makin' me nervous. |
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| t minus |
[Jan. 9th, 2009|10:44 am] |
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I am ready to go home now, please and thank you. |
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| yow |
[Dec. 28th, 2008|10:49 pm] |
what is it with me and shredding ligaments
i mean seriously |
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| dispatch from the queen of sulk |
[Dec. 6th, 2008|09:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | flat out pissy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | l. cohen | ] |
At this point, remaining here just feels like continuing to be in a relationship that you really should break off, but you keep dragging your feet to do it. Neither of you wants to pull the big asshole move of breaking up the day before the anniversary/holiday/other important couple-suited event, and both of you dread telling your parents and friends about the dissolution of the relationship almost more than the act itself.
not that i really have any reason for making that comparison, given how long it's been since i've been in a legitimate relationship ahahaha
I'M NOT KEEPING THIS BABY, PARIS. AND IT ISN'T YOURS ANYWAY.
and for our proverbial cherry on this sundae: I've got an infection in my right eye that's centered itself in a scar on my eyelid. It looks like something chewed out a nest and laid an egg there. my body continuously disgusts me, in countless innovative ways. |
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| prospectus |
[Nov. 25th, 2008|12:39 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | neko case | ] |
RIGHT FUCKING NOW:
-8 pages on Lokis for la bête humaine, due Wednesday. still totally clueless about how a French paper is supposed to be formatted or cited.
-commentaire composé on three stanzas of a poem by Paul Valéry, due Thursday. no word on required length.
-talk to roman gothique professor about absences/scheduling an exposé
-go to MICEFA office, finalize class schedule. email Amy, figure out what she actually signed off on my contract, pray it was a 4/5 so I can drop théâtre après 1970
-email housing/off campus offices
-bank. travelers' checks. rent. GAS.
-Thanksgiving: expat dinner? where? where to find sweet potatoes in Paris?
-postcards, jesus christ guys i am sorry
DECEMBER:
-exposé for poésie du XXème siècle. no idea who I'm working with.
-what the hell is my exam schedule and when are my other papers due
-probably buy a new goddamn coat, fuck
-Christmas: amsterdam/london/prague/???
JANUARY:
-WHEN THE HELL ARE MY EXAMS AAARGH
-email Amy about reading list for spring French lit course, buy books here for cheapie cheap
-presents. box things up to ship back home so i don't go over the weight requirements
-travel?
-close bank account
-make it to airport
-try to process the last five months
-back to Gainesville late night Tuesday/early morning Wednesday, hurriedly find clothes that will be appropriate until spring break, shove into suitcases, throw suitcases into car, pick up kitchen supplies, also throw into car, have joyful and awkward reunion with parents, drive back to New College Wednesday night
-miniclasses/move in/die
FEBRUARY:
-oh fuck what now |
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| i have it on good authority that my accent is 'charmant' |
[Nov. 14th, 2008|09:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | melanie and jennifer and melanie - destroyer | ] |
I've been sick to some degree for the past two weeks. I was lucky enough to not have class last week, so I could afford to stay in bed all day being miserable, and that seemed to kick it enough for me to make it back this week. Today, though, I skipped out on my post-1970 theater class after making a minor spectacle of myself in my English lit class. It was a good decision. I think I'm dropping that class anyway.
Life progresses here - had an exciting election night; or morning, rather, since the results didn't come in until about 5.30 a.m. here. Lots of cheering and hugging and yelling in several languages over the music and drinking shots with strangers. It's been interesting explaining the concept of an absentee ballot - my landlords assumed that I had pretty much forfeited my right to vote by being here during the election. I've had good luck when conversing about America with people who are genuinely interested; I met a guy on Halloween who was really, really enthusiastic about America - wanted to visit really badly, kept repeating 'I love your country!', ate it up when I spoke French with a horrible and over-exaggerated American accent. Takes all sorts, I guess.
That being said, I have arrived at the startling realization that my time here has reached its halfway point - I'll be back in about ten and a half weeks, and if the next two months progress as quickly as the last two have, I will be kicking myself extremely sharply. I need to get on postcard duty, take more photos, ride every metro line I haven't been on yet (I am actually really excited about the 14, I hear it's really nice). Nothing to do tomorrow but get out of bed and grit my teeth and get in some more touristy days.
Actually, I really like crossing all the bridges now that the weather's cold. It does something to the ambiance, I guess; not really sure how to express that. I think the issue is pretty much that whenever I am out in the Big Wide World I pretend that I'm in an underappreciated film classic that will turn me into a deathless icon for shy but creative, shaggy-haired youngsters for generations to come.
To wrap things up, I have not been able to stop thinking about cutting my hair for a couple of weeks now. Maybe I should look into that when I get back. Wouldn't that make life interesting. |
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| how france has changed me, or, another fucking entry about jeans |
[Oct. 29th, 2008|07:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | cindy's dulcet tones | ] |
Since I still haven't gotten around to actually doing laundry, and I take great pains to camouflage myself to appear as French as possible, I bought a new pair of jeans today after class.
They are skinny jeans. Not even 'slim-fit'; these actually suction themselves to my calves. Disregarding the bitter taste of hypocrisy in my mouth that this admission gives me, I am shallow enough to deem it important to say:
they actually look pretty okay.
Chalk it up to the pastry and cigarette diet. |
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| en rose |
[Oct. 23rd, 2008|10:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the knife | ] |
Okay, time for another day when I say I am making a conscious decision to improve my life. My dad gave me a beautiful little book to record my travels in and I have been seriously slacking. No more!
I'm going to talk more with my landlords. I met Mme. outside the gate today, we both got back at the same time, and she offered to show me how to use the washing machine. This is a huge deal, because I have not done real laundry in two months (two months) and when I wash my jeans in the sink the efficacy is haphazard at best, not to mention it takes about six days for them to dry.
Also, I want to talk to their daughters so they don't think I'm weird.
DEFINITE DECISION: I am going to tell them the gas is out this weekend.
I went grocery shopping today! I have had to alter my ideas of cheap subsistence. I cannot find packs of ramen noodles here; luckily, bread is cheap and so are things to put on it. I bought over a pound and a half of Nutella today. It will probably last me about a week. Also: grapes! They don't come in packages; you tear off stems from a large basket. They are tastier than American grapes. Of course they are. And figs! Goddamn, I love figs.
Anyway, my French ramen substitute is: lentils. I've been eating a lot of lentils. Sometimes by themselves, sometimes with carrots. Tonight they glopped out of a can with some chunks of hot dog. I am getting pretty well practiced at basing my diet around things that come out of cans.
When my mom was here she managed to turn the dial to my refrigerator to a point where it didn't freeze everything. I fucked it up, of course, but I'm going to attack it anew until I succeed. Perhaps my mom just intimidated it into upping the temperature.
The Swede texted me last weekend after a month-long silence. This would not be a big deal if it weren't for the fact that I let people put ideas into my head when logically I know they should not go there. Whatever. Point is, I enjoy talking to him, he contacted me and said he'd call me this week, and I need to stop hanging out exclusively with Americans. Here's where the shameful stereotypical doubt comes in: even though I don't care if he's interested in me beyond friends, I am worrying that I responded back to him too soon. what is the deal with me i am an idiot. Also the fun-with-stereotypes! thing to say would be that Scandinavians are too taciturn to be so manipulative and disingenuous. When we hang out together we compare the idioms of our native languages. That is the kind of person he is. (I almost wrote 'mother tongues' but that would be making things too easy.)
Idioms: Swedish has some interesting ones! If you are a clumsy dancer, you are a hippopotamus in a cast. I am not making that up. Honestly, I could not make that up.
I need to get new jeans this weekend. Partially because my old ones no longer fit; mostly because I feel like I need more in circulation so gaps between laundry cycles are more bearable.
I bought fancy chocolate today to celebrate Making Positive Changes In My Life. I have not even eaten any yet. However, I suspect that has more to do with the fact that dinner came out of a can than my miraculous new possession of self control. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2008|03:05 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | there's a house across the river but alas, i cannot swim | ] |
I am a lot more tempted to be honest in livejournal while I'm over here, because I won't have to look anyone in the face about it tomorrow. |
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| hotel orange juice |
[Oct. 5th, 2008|11:17 am] |
So my mom's in Paris! Pretty cool. I'm in her hotel right now, drinking the delicious and inspiring beverage of the title. Also cold coffee.
Last night was Nuit Blanche, which is a cool idea - lots of installation art around the train stations and other places and everything goes until 7 am. One of the greatest things about being here is how many different kinds of people you meet. Last night I was with two people who went to my high school, three people from Gainesville, my former roommate, this guy from Liverpool that I hang out with a lot, and one of my fellow Eastsiders brought along three Slovakians. We ended up splitting something like seven or eight bottles of wine between us, walking from station to station being very loud and not really caring. I think I ended up volunteering to pose for photos for one of the Slovakian women, haha (we'll see how that works out. But it is something I legitimately want to do, and what better story to tell than 'I met this Slovakian woman in Paris, I was drunk, it was my birthday, she's going to take artistic nudes of me.' YEAH). I was dying for a cigarette (hadn't smoked in a while, actually), and when I crept inside the train station so I could understand everyone on the phone (which fucking made my night, thanks guys) my mother came in and handed me one. what.
Don't know what the rest of the day will be like - nothing's really open on Sundays. Dinner, maybe. I am not particular.
I think it's officially cold now, and will only get colder from now on. I had a little weather widget on my computer so I could check, because I still can't convert from Celsius, and that was all right until a couple of days ago when it was rainy and in the forties and the widget said 75 and sunny. Turns out it was for Paris, Arkansas. There you go.
It's kind of pleasant, but I need more thick tights. Also I keep thinking Christmas is much closer.
got my absentee ballot! Yeaaaah. It's nice to have close by so I can do my (very late) research for the local candidates.
I think one of the things I've grown accustomed to the quickest, and what will perhaps take me a while to get used to again once I come back, is the omnipresence of public transportation. My life kind of revolves around the metro, which can be tedious at times but it does lend itself to a lot of reflection. It's fun to figure out which music fits the metro best - kind of a difficult thing to achieve, as it has to accompany standing on a platform, walking amid throngs of people, and shooting through tunnels (the best so far: Clinic, TV on the Radio and DeVotchKa). I've also been putting my music on shuffle, and it's interesting to see what comes up there - there are quite a few songs, albums even, that I have never listened to; things I've lifted from the library or from friends or the products of downloading sprees. I'm curious to see what songs will be attached to Paris for me, which were unknown before I came.
This one came up the other day. It might be the Frenchest thing I've ever heard. Also, I listen to this when I walk around and it's kind of ridiculous how appropriate it is to negotiating ten-inch-wide sidewalks when it's grey and raining and there are all these tremendously old buildings arching up above you.
Well, I think it is time for a shower, and then we will see what the day brings. I have been exceptionally lax with picture taking, maybe I'll fix that. Maybe not! Fuck, this is a weird birthday. It's like one of those things that should be a milestone - I have one toe lodged firmly in adulthood or something - but it doesn't really change anything. oh well. At least it wasn't 21, that would have been the most anti-climactic thing ever. |
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| any room i inhabit is always a mess |
[Sep. 18th, 2008|04:58 pm] |
It has been Florida-winter weather here for the past week and it's barely halfway through September. Damn. I am in for a treat come November.
Of course, what is making all of this bearable is the fact that I just learned that I can have heat in my room! Last night I was wearing gloves, and dreaded having to type anything because it would require finger exposure. Also I have not had a proper shower in a week - but apparently the water heater is working now as well, so that should be remedied in not too long at all. (don't panic, I just made do with three-minute Arctic scrubdowns. so many cusses.)
Tomorrow is the last day of classes for my program, then I have a week before I start classes at Paris III. Don't really know what I'm going to do - hopefully something inexpensive and entertaining, because I have found myself getting pretty déprimée lately. Hopefully not being around all the other kids in my program will help. They are all nice people, they just don't talk about very interesting things and they're very loud whenever we go anywhere and one girl (from Canada! QUIT DESTROYING MY STEREOTYPE OF CANADIANS AS NICE PEOPLE) was very condescending to me when I said I didn't like Miami. whatever.
Also the minifridge in here freezes everything, so I'm currently eating honey from a little squeeze bottle. Lame. I'm just going to smoke for two meals a day. |
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| i found €2 on the ground yesterday! |
[Sep. 13th, 2008|11:46 am] |
Maybe a more detailed update? Maybe.
I am sitting in my apartment! Some of you have seen some of it through the magic of skype. The family I'm renting from said we would go to the market and around the shops today, but I slept a lot later than I would have liked, so I'm not sure how that's going to work. I'm still a little shy around them - not sure what kind of a presence I should be in the house - but I think once we get to know each other better it will be great! My mom is coming for a visit in a few weeks (yay) and I really want her to meet my landlords (that feels like an inappropriate term). I think they will get along really well.
Man, I just really do not want to spend time on Livejournal anymore. Well, not writing really long entries, anyway.
errr. I went to the Centre Pompidou last Sunday with this Swedish boy I met on Friday at the Louvre. He is smart and we talk about language and politics and education (be still my heart, i know). I am not even really wanting this to turn into anything except hey, I have another friend in Paris, but he said he would call me and he has NOT. WHAT THE HELL, SWEDISH BOY. I probably shouldn't say that, he's five years older than me (yikes). WHAT THE HELL, SWEDISH TWENTY-FOUR-YEAR-OLD.
gossip fodder! Go go go.
Well, writing this has bored me. Time to find my shoes! |
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| alert alert |
[Sep. 10th, 2008|08:23 pm] |
I have a place to live.
What a fucking relief.
I have a little studio in Montreuil attached to a big stone house with a garden and a dog. The couple who is renting it to me is an acupuncturist and a theatrical designer. There is a tabac right near the metro station. I move in on Friday.
YAY. |
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| real quick-like |
[Sep. 10th, 2008|08:24 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the batshit cat jumping on everything | ] |
I've been going to bed pretty early. Like, at midnight. And yet I still feel like I could sleep until midafternoon.
I am not living on a boat and I didn't manage to find an apartment, so I'm staying with my roommate at the place she got in Montmartre until I get one. It's stressful, I don't like taking advantage of hospitality. But I am going to go see a place in Montreuil (right outside the eastern edge of Paris, it's still on the metro, which is great) this afternoon - a woman is renting out a studio in her house (? not quite sure how this works) and she seemed very nice over the phone. She spoke extra slowly, haha. Wonderful. Anyway, she's a theatrical and film designer, so I think I can play that card if I'm up for any competition, but at this point I'm prepared to throw money at her and grovel at her feet if it means I get a place to live.
This apartment is home to the most batshit cat ever.
Okay, I need to get dressed and have some grapefruit juice and get to class. It takes forty-five minutes to get there. The metro is deceptive and meandering. I want to get a place with my own bed and then sleep forever. Classes start on the 29th. I miss you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2008|06:37 pm] |
hello darlings!
Things are better! I just wanted you to know. Also I am on AIM all the time, waiting and waiting until 6 p.m. every day because I know you all might just be awake at noon. Placement exam today, interview tomorrow, classes start Wednesday, I have a week to find an apartment, I'm eating tons of bread, lots of old men hit on me - life is great.
grosses bises,
k |
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